Bumped upon few of your letters
Even for a moment, felt I was loved just by reading it
cz you might certainly not know but it’s pretty lonely here..
in my heart for the past few years
And frighteningly so but your love still echoes in my heart and I long for it on some days like this..nothing new about it now I’m sure..
Not written for the past few years,
my heart feels empty..
nothing ignites a spark
nothing aches my soul..
what do I write if not letters to you..
the ones you’ll never read..
the ones upon which I’ll be mocked upon to have been stuck on for so long..
What do I write?
As if the only subject of both my affection and words were you for so long..
That I have lost the will to even set my inspiration on someone or something else upon
Too long I recall, to have forgotten everything
But how do I explain that I still long for
Not just the pretty words but the ardent storms you brought in my soul
Not only the smiles and showers of laughter I have borrowed from you
But also the tears of agony you’ve lent me
Written a lot about many other things for a decade
Stuck on you was this poet
After a whirlwind of love, the story we shared..
Written none of you
But all for you
And yet here I stand
Aching to write
A little about me and the world around
And you stand there smiling
As if you are what everything surrounds..
Incomplete as I’m
Incomplete shall this poem remain..
I await you and so the poem awaits..
Ignited is just one flame
Today upon glancing at you
after ages
I wonder if the poet in me loved you more than me
Betrayed I am by you,
By her
Forgotten is love
Forgotten is the entire Avenue..
Alone sits the writer staring at the empty sky
Alone mourns the lover
With no hope in her eyes..
Category: depth
Kuch mai bhi zinda hun kya tujhme
Kuch mai bhi zinda hun kya tujhme
Ki tu mujhse bhulaya nahi jata
Zakhm jo hain so hain
Reh gaya hai jo pyaar
Ye ab mujhse sambhala nahi jata
Tu chala gaya ek din mujhe chhod kar
Tu Laut aaega mere paas
Ye jhoot mere dil se ab kaha nahi jata
Teri yaadon ka ye janaza
Mujhse ab uthaya nahi jata
The colour of your love
29th Nov 2020
I wish the colour of your love settles down..
I wish it’s a blank space again
I hope the colour of your love settles down
Cz mine is still a beautiful landscape
I will choose the red the yellow the blue..
I know the colour of my rainbow is overdue..
I hope the colour of your love settles down
I can’t erase it..
The colours have dried…it has faded away..
In a dark room
Polishing it over and over again..
I’m done and it’s dusted..
As the sun shines the next morning..
I hope the colour of your love settles down..
I don’t want someone else to come and colour it..
This time I want to choose the colours myself..
My colours, it’s my Canvas,
It’s high time…you return me my greys..
I’ll cherish the red..
And make it mine all over again..
I hope the colour of your love settles down
It’s high time that I’m myself again..
Poems and Algorithms
There’s a rush, there’s a thrill but with a certain stability and a smile, when you do what you love. I’m a writer you see…codes and poems..I write both and these two things get me, the best of me. There are no doubts, nothing illogical..pure logic, pure love. Here’s to my love for code, logic and universe. And on the other side to my love for poems, stories, flowers and literature.
While I Brew a coffee, pick my specs, open my laptop and start to code. The way it challenges me is so fulfilling. The way the entire day is gone and I don’t even realise. The thirst of my brain is somewhat quenched. The rush it was seeking subsides for a little while.
It’s evening now, it’s raining outside, I pick a book, a diary and a pen, it’s nothing like how the day went by. I come across a beautiful poem, Frost you may say..or Shakespeare, or Plath.
An emotion takes over, I’m certainly reminded of something. While I’m soaking in, in my memories..my mind is brewing words and my heart is weaving a story, a poem. And like tears fall on your cheeks, naturally and uncontrollably…I pour down all of it on those crimson pages…and hence a soul is satisfied.
If my poems are pure emotion, coding is pure logic. Two different worlds that complete my being.
I seek and fall in love with challenges and complexities every day. But emotions are what I seek equally everyday. It’s neither possible nor necessary to conquer each emotion or every challenge you face but I think feeling and facing it is what keeps being alive interesting.
Here’s to not getting enough of life, love and logic !
The meaning of life
“The existential vacuum which is the mass neurosis of the present time can be described as a private and personal form of nihilism; for nihilism can be defined as the contention that being has no meaning.”
For the world to been have so intricately designed and/or evolved over a million light years with just the right amount of everything for life to prevail, for schedules and processes to cultivate, contain and maintain life and all the related things,
It would be, in my opinion quite unfair to be called ‘meaningless’ especially when your heart is beating and you are breathing right there supported by the same design, existing just at the centre of it !
And as supported by Victor Frankl, survivor of four concentration camps and as such that he also bears witness to the unexpected extent to which a person is capable of defying and braving even the worst conditions conceivable, it might be fair enough to say the ones who have seen life drifting away in front of their eyes will be the last people to question the meaning of life.
Not that suffering is the only meaning of life but suffering definitely is one of the major definitions of the inherent meaning of life. But then again, to live is human, to err is human and to question is human ! And so the quest to search for the meaning of life will forever continue and I guess that too in itself one of the multiple meanings of life.
