It’s a lonely lonely way
To come back to your senses
And see everything for what it is
No sugarcoat
Not one world of delusion
Or even dreams for that matter
Everything clear as a crystal
I cannot decide
What breaks my heart more
To know the truth
Or to know that perhaps
The lies were better
The world I had created in my head was better
It is a welcome feeling
To come back to myself
To who I was and am
In it’s complete glory
But to see
What’s in front of me
And behind me
While I walk
Alone in the hallway
All but none
There but some
None in your pain
All in your joy
A hint of pain
And all of them disappear
They use you
Walk all over you
Pretend to care
Or care to pretend?
Was this actually the fate all along
To feel so empty in bondings
That you find a mate
And settle down
For the life’s suffering will weigh you down
Far too low
Put that fence
On someone’s neck
Rejoice and die in each other’s company
Cz no one else is too be seen
Category: solitude
The fall
Pain of that fall still stings
I complain
Complain to myself everyday
You could have been someone
Why are you a nobody ?
Where’s the dream
The little you saw
Where’s the castle
You build with a straw
Where’s the courage that could shake the world
Where are you
I fail to find
Where’s your sword
Where’s your armour
Why do you sit there in the corner
Refusing to see eye to eye
With what have you lost
Why don’t you respect yourself
After all the wars you have fought
Why don’t you count them as a war
Why do you run behind
The one battle you couldn’t win
And might fight someday
Once you regain your strength?
Isn’t a wounded soldier allowed some rest ?
May be the bird will fly again
She has just taken a fall
And might star trying again
But hasn’t she just found peace
She has just found her breath
Let’s wait till we find her pulse
And push her to fly again ?
My heart recalls
Bumped upon few of your letters
Even for a moment, felt I was loved just by reading it
cz you might certainly not know but it’s pretty lonely here..
in my heart for the past few years
And frighteningly so but your love still echoes in my heart and I long for it on some days like this..nothing new about it now I’m sure..
Not written for the past few years,
my heart feels empty..
nothing ignites a spark
nothing aches my soul..
what do I write if not letters to you..
the ones you’ll never read..
the ones upon which I’ll be mocked upon to have been stuck on for so long..
What do I write?
As if the only subject of both my affection and words were you for so long..
That I have lost the will to even set my inspiration on someone or something else upon
Too long I recall, to have forgotten everything
But how do I explain that I still long for
Not just the pretty words but the ardent storms you brought in my soul
Not only the smiles and showers of laughter I have borrowed from you
But also the tears of agony you’ve lent me
Written a lot about many other things for a decade
Stuck on you was this poet
After a whirlwind of love, the story we shared..
Written none of you
But all for you
And yet here I stand
Aching to write
A little about me and the world around
And you stand there smiling
As if you are what everything surrounds..
Incomplete as I’m
Incomplete shall this poem remain..
I await you and so the poem awaits..
Ignited is just one flame
Today upon glancing at you
after ages
I wonder if the poet in me loved you more than me
Betrayed I am by you,
By her
Forgotten is love
Forgotten is the entire Avenue..
Alone sits the writer staring at the empty sky
Alone mourns the lover
With no hope in her eyes..
Baaki hai
Aata to bht kum hai
Par sab kuch seekh lene ki chahat hai
Pair zameen par hi sahi
Aasman se taare tod lane ki bagawat hai
Ek chhoti si zindagi mukhtasar hai
Mulakat mukummalaat ek hunar se honi baki hai
Jeena agar seekhna hai
To seekhne ki pyaas bht baaki hai
Seekhna agar jeena hai
To Jeene ki aas ab bhi baaki hai
Kuch rang saja lein kabhi
To kuch taar chhed lein idhar
Kabhi Nazar us chaand pe pherein
To kabhi gungharuon me taal jaayein bikhar
Suron ki samjh to nahi
Par kabhi gunguna lein ek taan ek peher
Bas lekhni hi hai
Jo har baar wapas bula leti hai
Ghar ho gayi ho jaise ye
Rangon me doob jaun
Ya jayein ghungroo bikhar
Aana laut kar wapas yahi hai
Is kalam aur kaagaz k tukde k paas
Sang roenge baith kar
Pyaar ka izhaar b yahin kar lenge
Kuch ummedein saja lenge
Kuch khwaab tod lenge
Uthenge fir kisi subah
Rango me doob jaane ko
Kisi khoobsurat taal par thirakne ko
Aur laut kar phir yahin aaenge
Mehsus kiye har jazbaat ko fir yahin sajaenge
Jo bhi seekha, jo b Jana
Kaid fir is kaagaz me kar jaenge
Hum kal rahein na rahein
Ye qaayanaat yahin is kagaz me samete chale jaenge
Ek hissa is zindagi ka
In lafzon me mukammal kiye jaenge
The colour of your love
29th Nov 2020
I wish the colour of your love settles down..
I wish it’s a blank space again
I hope the colour of your love settles down
Cz mine is still a beautiful landscape
I will choose the red the yellow the blue..
I know the colour of my rainbow is overdue..
I hope the colour of your love settles down
I can’t erase it..
The colours have dried…it has faded away..
In a dark room
Polishing it over and over again..
I’m done and it’s dusted..
As the sun shines the next morning..
I hope the colour of your love settles down..
I don’t want someone else to come and colour it..
This time I want to choose the colours myself..
My colours, it’s my Canvas,
It’s high time…you return me my greys..
I’ll cherish the red..
And make it mine all over again..
I hope the colour of your love settles down
It’s high time that I’m myself again..
The meaning of life
“The existential vacuum which is the mass neurosis of the present time can be described as a private and personal form of nihilism; for nihilism can be defined as the contention that being has no meaning.”
For the world to been have so intricately designed and/or evolved over a million light years with just the right amount of everything for life to prevail, for schedules and processes to cultivate, contain and maintain life and all the related things,
It would be, in my opinion quite unfair to be called ‘meaningless’ especially when your heart is beating and you are breathing right there supported by the same design, existing just at the centre of it !
And as supported by Victor Frankl, survivor of four concentration camps and as such that he also bears witness to the unexpected extent to which a person is capable of defying and braving even the worst conditions conceivable, it might be fair enough to say the ones who have seen life drifting away in front of their eyes will be the last people to question the meaning of life.
Not that suffering is the only meaning of life but suffering definitely is one of the major definitions of the inherent meaning of life. But then again, to live is human, to err is human and to question is human ! And so the quest to search for the meaning of life will forever continue and I guess that too in itself one of the multiple meanings of life.
The silence
Tired of the chaos,
staring into the abyss
wanna run away
Somewhere, but where ?
You chase,
Chase the nothingness..
Only to be lost,
Lost in the nowhere
Nothing makes sense
But you can feel your own breath
Into the woods
Under the stars
Wrapped up in solitude..
This silence is beautiful,
This escape is meaningful.
The finer taste of Life 