Category: youth

Ijaazat

Tumhi se sharma ke tumhi me chhup jana,
Bht yaad aaega tumhara yun batein batana..
Dekh kar meri aankhein
Mera har dard samjh jana,
Bhool nahi paungi
Tumhara chhupke se aa k
Mujhe bas sambhal lena…

Jahan se guzro
Har us jagah me khushiyan bhar dena,
Aankhon me aansun ho kar bhi
Khud ko bilkul theek batana
Maaf shayad nahi kar paungi
Tumhara apne har dard ko
Khud hi me samet lena..

Khushiyon ki khanak
To bikher hi dete ho
Kabhi man kare
To dard baant lenge baith kar
Mera khayal to rakh hi lete ho
Kabhi tumhara bhi rakh lenge
Ijazat ho agar….

A lonely way

It’s a lonely lonely way
To come back to your senses
And see everything for what it is
No sugarcoat
Not one world of delusion
Or even dreams for that matter
Everything clear as a crystal
I cannot decide
What breaks my heart more
To know the truth
Or to know that perhaps
The lies were better
The world I had created in my head was better
It is a welcome feeling
To come back to myself
To who I was and am
In it’s complete glory
But to see
What’s in front of me
And behind me
While I walk
Alone in the hallway
All but none
There but some
None in your pain
All in your joy
A hint of pain
And all of them disappear
They use you
Walk all over you
Pretend to care
Or care to pretend?
Was this actually the fate all along
To feel so empty in bondings
That you find a mate
And settle down
For the life’s suffering will weigh you down
Far too low
Put that fence
On someone’s neck
Rejoice and die in each other’s company
Cz no one else is too be seen

The fall

Pain of that fall still stings
I complain
Complain to myself everyday
You could have been someone
Why are you a nobody ?
Where’s the dream
The little you saw
Where’s the castle
You build with a straw
Where’s the courage that could shake the world
Where are you
I fail to find
Where’s your sword
Where’s your armour
Why do you sit there in the corner
Refusing to see eye to eye
With what have you lost
Why don’t you respect yourself
After all the wars you have fought
Why don’t you count them as a war
Why do you run behind
The one battle you couldn’t win
And might fight someday
Once you regain your strength?
Isn’t a wounded soldier allowed some rest ?
May be the bird will fly again
She has just taken a fall
And might star trying again
But hasn’t she just found peace
She has just found her breath
Let’s wait till we find her pulse
And push her to fly again ?

Baaki hai

Aata to bht kum hai
Par sab kuch seekh lene ki chahat hai
Pair zameen par hi sahi
Aasman se taare tod lane ki bagawat hai
Ek chhoti si zindagi mukhtasar hai
Mulakat mukummalaat ek hunar se honi baki hai
Jeena agar seekhna hai
To seekhne ki pyaas bht baaki hai
Seekhna agar jeena hai
To Jeene ki aas ab bhi baaki hai

Kuch rang saja lein kabhi
To kuch taar chhed lein idhar
Kabhi Nazar us chaand pe pherein
To kabhi gungharuon me taal jaayein bikhar
Suron ki samjh to nahi
Par kabhi gunguna lein ek taan ek peher

Bas lekhni hi hai
Jo har baar wapas bula leti hai
Ghar ho gayi ho jaise ye
Rangon me doob jaun
Ya jayein ghungroo bikhar
Aana laut kar wapas yahi hai
Is kalam aur kaagaz k tukde k paas
Sang roenge baith kar
Pyaar ka izhaar b yahin kar lenge
Kuch ummedein saja lenge
Kuch khwaab tod lenge

Uthenge fir kisi subah
Rango me doob jaane ko
Kisi khoobsurat taal par thirakne ko
Aur laut kar phir yahin aaenge
Mehsus kiye har jazbaat ko fir yahin sajaenge
Jo bhi seekha, jo b Jana
Kaid fir is kaagaz me kar jaenge
Hum kal rahein na rahein
Ye qaayanaat yahin is kagaz me samete chale jaenge
Ek hissa is zindagi ka
In lafzon me mukammal kiye jaenge

Kuch mai bhi zinda hun kya tujhme

Kuch mai bhi zinda hun kya tujhme
Ki tu mujhse bhulaya nahi jata
Zakhm jo hain so hain
Reh gaya hai jo pyaar
Ye ab mujhse sambhala nahi jata

Tu chala gaya ek din mujhe chhod kar
Tu Laut aaega mere paas
Ye jhoot mere dil se ab kaha nahi jata
Teri yaadon ka ye janaza
Mujhse ab uthaya nahi jata

The colour of your love

29th Nov 2020

I wish the colour of your love settles down..
I wish it’s a blank space again

I hope the colour of your love settles down
Cz mine is still a beautiful landscape

I will choose the red the yellow the blue..
I know the colour of my rainbow is overdue..

I hope the colour of your love settles down
I can’t erase it..

The colours have dried…it has faded away..
In a dark room
Polishing it over and over again..

I’m done and it’s dusted..
As the sun shines the next morning..
I hope the colour of your love settles down..

I don’t want someone else to come and colour it..
This time I want to choose the colours myself..

My colours, it’s my Canvas,
It’s high time…you return me my greys..
I’ll cherish the red..
And make it mine all over again..

I hope the colour of your love settles down
It’s high time that I’m myself again..

Poems and Algorithms

There’s a rush, there’s a thrill but with a certain stability and a smile, when you do what you love. I’m a writer you see…codes and poems..I write both and these two things get me, the best of me. There are no doubts, nothing illogical..pure logic, pure love. Here’s to my love for code, logic and universe. And on the other side to my love for poems, stories, flowers and literature.

While I Brew a coffee, pick my specs, open my laptop and start to code. The way it challenges me is so fulfilling. The way the entire day is gone and I don’t even realise. The thirst of my brain is somewhat quenched. The rush it was seeking subsides for a little while.

It’s evening now, it’s raining outside, I pick a book, a diary and a pen, it’s nothing like how the day went by. I come across a beautiful poem, Frost you may say..or Shakespeare, or Plath.
An emotion takes over, I’m certainly reminded of something. While I’m soaking in, in my memories..my mind is brewing words and my heart is weaving a story, a poem. And like tears fall on your cheeks, naturally and uncontrollably…I pour down all of it on those crimson pages…and hence a soul is satisfied.

If my poems are pure emotion, coding is pure logic. Two different worlds that complete my being.

I seek and fall in love with challenges and complexities every day. But emotions are what I seek equally everyday. It’s neither possible nor necessary to conquer each emotion or every challenge you face but I think feeling and facing it is what keeps being alive interesting.

Here’s to not getting enough of life, love and logic !

The decade, that defines.

As author Meg Jay writes in her book ‘The defining decade’ that “The twenties are a time when people and personalities are poised for transformation.” I wonder why just 10 years out of an incredibly long life. Why does life has to change entirely only in one single decade ?

You’ll barely start your graduation at the beginning of the decade and come out of it as parents of another full-grown individual. How can this not be scary ?

The earlier part, the first five years are mostly all fun and games, probably the most memorable, where you are living your life at your best and the remaining five seem to be as scary. I mention ‘seem to be’ because not having experienced it yet, I’m no one to cling to and establish it as a fact.

And as much as these ten years feel like a treasure and a lottery ticket, it feels like they are slipping like sand from your hand. The more you try to hold it the more they slip out of it.

This topic, I must say will keep appearing in posts and my writings as  I explore it ahead, because this adventurous decade is beyond our control and probably thrilling too for the same reason. Because what is thrill without fear ? And what is life without an adventure ?