Keh bhi do kabhi

Tumhari aankhon se itna to Zahir hai
Ki dil me tumhare muddatein beet gayi hain
Par hamare dil tak uski hawa se ab tak sirf patte hi ud rahe hain
Ab keh bhi do lafzon me
Ki dil se sare armaan ujad rahe hain

Darte ho tum, ye khata hai tumhari
Are puch to lo ek baar
Manenge nahi
Par inkaar bhi nahi kar paenge
Ki thoda sa to ho gaya hai
Ye ishq jo tumse hi to seekha hai
Ki lakh baatein keh jayein aankhein
Majal hai jo zaban se ek lafz bhi nikla hai

Kaho na kaho
Apna kya lena dena
Aaj ho, kal to Zahir hai
Nahi hoge
Aaj samne bitha k ke khamoshi sahi hai
Kal dooriyon me bhi fasla rakhoge

Jitne ho, utna samet liya
Kal ka kya hai
Apna saaman sametenge
Aur sath tumhari yaadein liye
Chal denge…

Ye zindagi itni lambi bhi nahi
Jitni tumhe lagti hai dost
Tum palkein jhukaoge
Aur ye waqt beet jaega
Sapna hi to hai ye bhi
Tum kahoge
To ek aur saj jaega..
Khatam to har kahani ko hona hi hai ek din,
Hamari aaj ho jaye to kya hi ho jaega…
Jo shuru hi nahi hua kabhi
Wo khatam ho jaye
To kya hi farq pad jaega..



Ijaazat

Tumhi se sharma ke tumhi me chhup jana,
Bht yaad aaega tumhara yun batein batana..
Dekh kar meri aankhein
Mera har dard samjh jana,
Bhool nahi paungi
Tumhara chhupke se aa k
Mujhe bas sambhal lena…

Jahan se guzro
Har us jagah me khushiyan bhar dena,
Aankhon me aansun ho kar bhi
Khud ko bilkul theek batana
Maaf shayad nahi kar paungi
Tumhara apne har dard ko
Khud hi me samet lena..

Khushiyon ki khanak
To bikher hi dete ho
Kabhi man kare
To dard baant lenge baith kar
Mera khayal to rakh hi lete ho
Kabhi tumhara bhi rakh lenge
Ijazat ho agar….

As the love shines bright

I know I’m young but life wore me out too soon
With you I was young again
With you I was myself again


The girl that would run in the corridors of the school
To hand over a letter she wrote for him
The girl who would slap the girl
Who called her a witch
The girl who would look at the stars and think
What would a black hole mean
The girl who would look at the leaves falling and think
I guess this is the way in love it would feel
Golden and effortless
Like falling feels in sunshine

The girl who would fight
The girl who would give it a chance anyway
Because why not
She would sing, mimic and debate
She would play the instrument of her choice every morning
Fearless she would walk
And dance to her heart’s content
For that girl, at that moment
The world was limitless
Her love was limitless

And just like the leaves fall from those trees in autumn..
So did her life
She endured no doubt
But with the strength she gained
The love she had for life turned fragile
Thank you for returning her to me
I guess you’d be soon gone from my life
But that girl smiles
As she holds your hand
And both of you jump on the stack of the fallen leaves
As the sun shines bright

Tumhaara, mai

Dikh jaati ho agar
To bas dekh leta hun tumhe
Aankhon me apni
Samet leta hun tumhe
Waqt ki berukhi to humne bhi Jani hai
Isse pehle ki beet jaaye ye
Ahiste bas thaam leta hun tumhe

Jo lafz agar wajood kho baithein
Khamosh tumhari aankhon ko dekh kar
Har dard bas samajh leta hun mai
Bikhar jao tum toot kar
Isse pehle samet leta hun tumhe

Chalte chalte aksar thak si jati ho tum
Armaan jo ho bahon me uthane ke bhi tumhe
Muskura kar bas theher jata hun mai
Aahiste bas hath tumhara thaam kar
Aage badh jaata hun mai

Dil chahta hai ki bas qaid kar lun tumhe
Par bebasi tumhari soch kar theher jata hun mai
Naazuk jo ho tum, janta hun sakht bhi itni hi ho
Hausle tumhare dekh rashk-e-fakr ho jata hun mai

Jo hath tumhara thaam kar
Sath chalne ka waada kar chala hun mai
Khushi tumhari, pyaar ye apna
Mukammal kar chala hun mai
Udaan par tumhari mera koi haq to nahi
Isliye sath tumhare bas ud chala hun mai…

( From the Archives – 2017 )

Our demons

Our demons danced together
and it was better than heaven
Life at its best
even if it’s coloured leaden

Couldn’t have asked for anything else
than for me to be my honest self
to sleep in your arms like a baby
to be warrior for the battle that comes next

Better than the things we deliberately create
Nothing compares to the genuine love and the raw hate
For Gods to dance together in heaven is plain
Oh dear, for the demons of two people
to dance together insane

Fire all around, devoured the world sat
no passion can ever be better than that
Toxic, terrible, poisonous they said
Oh baby that’s my holy grail
for whatever it takes

He pushed me through the cliff
I fall down after
only to find him waiting
at the heaven’s alter

Intensity of death in a moment’s conscience
a thousand times over for a death so bright
Choosing you was not my choice,
losing you wasn’t either
Thankful to you I am, now that we end the plight

How did you know
that the color I was hiding was blue
until I suffered from the same pain as you
No matter where we are my fellow demon
I’ll always love you..

Baaki hai

Aata to bht kum hai
Par sab kuch seekh lene ki chahat hai
Pair zameen par hi sahi
Aasman se taare tod lane ki bagawat hai
Ek chhoti si zindagi mukhtasar hai
Mulakat mukummalaat ek hunar se honi baki hai
Jeena agar seekhna hai
To seekhne ki pyaas bht baaki hai
Seekhna agar jeena hai
To Jeene ki aas ab bhi baaki hai

Kuch rang saja lein kabhi
To kuch taar chhed lein idhar
Kabhi Nazar us chaand pe pherein
To kabhi gungharuon me taal jaayein bikhar
Suron ki samjh to nahi
Par kabhi gunguna lein ek taan ek peher

Bas lekhni hi hai
Jo har baar wapas bula leti hai
Ghar ho gayi ho jaise ye
Rangon me doob jaun
Ya jayein ghungroo bikhar
Aana laut kar wapas yahi hai
Is kalam aur kaagaz k tukde k paas
Sang roenge baith kar
Pyaar ka izhaar b yahin kar lenge
Kuch ummedein saja lenge
Kuch khwaab tod lenge

Uthenge fir kisi subah
Rango me doob jaane ko
Kisi khoobsurat taal par thirakne ko
Aur laut kar phir yahin aaenge
Mehsus kiye har jazbaat ko fir yahin sajaenge
Jo bhi seekha, jo b Jana
Kaid fir is kaagaz me kar jaenge
Hum kal rahein na rahein
Ye qaayanaat yahin is kagaz me samete chale jaenge
Ek hissa is zindagi ka
In lafzon me mukammal kiye jaenge

Poems and Algorithms

There’s a rush, there’s a thrill but with a certain stability and a smile, when you do what you love. I’m a writer you see…codes and poems..I write both and these two things get me, the best of me. There are no doubts, nothing illogical..pure logic, pure love. Here’s to my love for code, logic and universe. And on the other side to my love for poems, stories, flowers and literature.

While I Brew a coffee, pick my specs, open my laptop and start to code. The way it challenges me is so fulfilling. The way the entire day is gone and I don’t even realise. The thirst of my brain is somewhat quenched. The rush it was seeking subsides for a little while.

It’s evening now, it’s raining outside, I pick a book, a diary and a pen, it’s nothing like how the day went by. I come across a beautiful poem, Frost you may say..or Shakespeare, or Plath.
An emotion takes over, I’m certainly reminded of something. While I’m soaking in, in my memories..my mind is brewing words and my heart is weaving a story, a poem. And like tears fall on your cheeks, naturally and uncontrollably…I pour down all of it on those crimson pages…and hence a soul is satisfied.

If my poems are pure emotion, coding is pure logic. Two different worlds that complete my being.

I seek and fall in love with challenges and complexities every day. But emotions are what I seek equally everyday. It’s neither possible nor necessary to conquer each emotion or every challenge you face but I think feeling and facing it is what keeps being alive interesting.

Here’s to not getting enough of life, love and logic !

I refuse to believe

If you can move over the song
That said it feels like heaven with me
May be love is nothing but an illusion

May be we as humans surrender
Only to what’s important
And to the convenience of what we need

If a term like ‘break up’ exists
It can only mean
There is love
But no true love

It is as situational as sleep
And as instinctive as hunger

If change is the only constant
I doubt there was ever an eternal love

No matter how much I want to believe
My love is longer than my life..
And your heart will belong to me forever
I know it isn’t,

I know the need to survive
Is may be greater than all
And love, as natural as it is
As beautiful as it is
Is more of an adornation
A rhetorical metaphor

You fall in love someday,
And someone else a few years later
What is love if it cannot be fought for ?
If it’s not selfishness,
And the helplessness to survive,
That inspires companionship..
What exactly is ?
Is love actually a nature’s trick ?

It’s a timeless question a lover asks,
When being abandoned
What about all the promises you made ?
What about the moments we spent together and thought we’ll be together forever..

God forbid those vows be broken,
But if they can be,
Whether easily or in agony

Pardon do I ask,
But I doubt on the existence of love
If it thus be broken so easily
In the presence of fear
Or a blissful empathy
I refuse to believe that love exists..

If life be this complicated
And love comes so easy
Rebukes on the existence of it,
Rebukes on the irony of it..

—If an argument be,
It’s real we all can feel it.
Universal in its nature,
No one can deny it exists.

Then I might be forced to think
If we have bent love too as a concept that suits only it’s exploitation ?
Exactly what we did to all other things..—

While using everything to our advantage,
When the greed exceeds the need
I guess, the quality of everything deteriorates
And love in this case
Might be the culprit, might be the victim too..

And again as we can only question It’s existence
Like we do of God..
I guess like in tough times,
She is the only one we remember.
Even if don’t believe in it..
So we remember love,
When we are in the most need of it..

But no matter how much you are..
In anger or in agony,
And question the existence of love
Or life or the truthfulness of the person in question,
For a brief amount of time,
When you remember their name and your heart skips a beat..

No matter how much you deny,
That was love in all it’s might
You were in love inspite of all the fright
And that was all you knew love to be..

Time passes, life grows old..
You will someday run out of time..
But never of love..
And that’s what will support,
All the fallacies you refuse to believe in

Denial or acceptance
Belief or refusal..
You surrender..
And like the rain
Quenches the fiery fire,
Your questions are only the fumes that arise..

Helpless you kneal down,
Clueless you sit
And stare at it raining
May be you’ll never know if it exists or not
But you wonder..
You can only wonder…

That may be Love is not what ceases to exist,
It’s your belief that does..
And no matter how much you question
That was all you knew love to be…



The silence

Tired of the chaos,

staring into the abyss
wanna run away
Somewhere, but where ?
You chase,
Chase the nothingness..
Only to be lost,
Lost in the nowhere
Nothing makes sense
But you can feel your own breath
Into the woods
Under the stars
Wrapped up in solitude..

This silence is beautiful,
This escape is meaningful.